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He still talked vaguely of the things he was going to do in the future, but with less conviction and he was conscious that his friends no longer believed in him when he had drank two or three glasses of whiskey he was inclined to be elegiac. I m a failure, he murmured, I m unfit for the brutality of the struggle of life. All I can do is to stand aside and let the vulgar throng hustle by in their pursuit of the good things. He gave you the impression that to fail was a more delicate, a more. exquisite thing, than to succeed. He insinuated that his aloofness was due to distaste for all that was common and low. He talked beautifully of Plato. I should have thought you d got through with Plato by now, said Philip impatiently. Would you he asked, raising his eyebrows. He was not inclined to pursue the subject. He had discovered of late the effective dignity of silence. I don t see the use of reading the same thing over and over again, said Philip. That s only a laborious form of idleness. But are you under the impression that you have so great a mind that you can understand the most profound writer at a first reading I don t want to understand leicester city kit manager him, I m not a critic. I m not interested in him for his sake but for mine. Why d you read then Partly for pleasure, because it s a habit and I m just as uncomfortable if I don t read as if I don t smoke, and partly to know myself. When I read a book I seem to read it with my eyes only, but now and then I come across a passage, perhaps only a phrase, which has a liverpool shirts nz meaning for ME, and it becomes part of me I ve got out of the book all that s any use to me, and I liverpool shirts nz can t get a.d thought of it often but Cronshaw with his faun like humour had refused to make his meaning clear he repeated that it had sweden football shirt ibrahimovic none unless one discovered it for oneself. It was this desire to make a success of life which was at the bottom of Philip s uncertainty about continuing his artistic career. But man city shorts and socks Clutton began to talk again. D you remember my telling you about that chap I met in Brittany I saw him the other day here. He s just off to Tahiti. He was broke to the world. He was a brasseur liverpool shirts nz d affaires, a stockbroker I suppose you call it in English and he had a wife and family, and he was earning a large income. He chucked it all to become a painter. He just went off and settled down in Brittany and began to paint. He hadn t got any money and did the next best thing to starving. And what about his wife and family asked Philip. Oh, he dropped them. He left them to starve on their own account. It sounds a pretty low down thing to do. Oh, my dear fellow, if you want to be a gentleman you must give up being an artist. They ve got nothing to do with one another. You hear of men painting pot boilers to keep an aged mother well, it shows they re excellent sons, but it s no excuse for bad work. They re only tradesmen. An artist would let his mother go to the workhouse. There s a writer I know over here who told me that his wife died in childbirth. He was in love with her and he was mad with grief, but as he sat at the bedside watching her die he found himself making mental notes of how she looked and what she said and the things he was feeling. Gentlemanly, wasn t it But is your friend a good painter asked Philip. No, not yet, he paints just like Pissarro. He hasn t found himself, but he s got a sense of colour and a sense of decoration. But that isn t the question. it s the feeling, and that he s got. He s behaved like a perfect cad to his wife and children, he s always behaving like a perfect cad the way he treats the people who ve helped him and sometimes he s been saved from starvation merely by the kindness of his friends is simply beastly. He just happens to be a great artist. Philip pondered over the man who was willing to sacrifice everything, comfort, home, money, love, honour, duty, for the sake of getting on to canvas with paint the emotion which the world gave him. it was magnificent, and yet his courage failed him. Thinking of Cronshaw recalled to him the fact that he had not seen him for a week, and so, when C.eman among them, and there was a touch of condescension in his familiarity. Philip would not go with him. I m going to earn my dinner, he said. Quite right, my inter milan away kit boy, answered Athelny, with a wave of the hand, as he strolled away. No work, no dinner. chapter 119 Philip had not a basket of his own, but sat with Sally. Jane thought it monstrous that he should help her elder sister rather than herself, and he had to promise to pick for her when Sally s basket was full. Sally was almost as quick as her mother. Won t it hurt your hands for sewing asked Philip. Oh, no, it wants soft hands. That s why women pick better than men. If your hands are hard and your fingers all stiff with a lot of rough work you can t pick near so well. He liked to see her deft movements, and she watched him too now liverpool shirts nz and then with that maternal spirit of hers which was so amusing and yet so charming. He was clumsy at first, and she laughed at him. When she bent over and showed him how best to deal with a whole line their hands met. He was surprised to see liverpool shirts nz her blush. He could not persuade himself that she was a woman because he had known her as a flapper, he could not help looking upon her as a child still yet the number of her admirers showed that she was a child no longer and though they had only been down a few days one of Sally s cousins was already so sports direct everton t shirts attentive that she had to endure a lot of chaffing. His name was Peter Gann, and he was. the son of Mrs. Athelny s sister, who had married a farmer near Ferne. Everyone knew why he found it necessary to walk through the hop field every day. A call off by the sounding of a horn was made for breakfast at eight, and though Mrs. Athelny told them they had not deserved it, they ate it very heartily. They set to work again and worked till twelve, when the horn sounded once more for dinner. At intervals the measurer went his round from bin to bin, accompanied by the booker, who entered first in his own book and then in the hopper s the number of bushels picked. As each bin was filled it was measured out in bushel baskets into a huge bag called a poke and this the measurer and the pole puller carried off between them and liverpool shirts nz put on the waggon. Athelny came back now and then with stories of how much Mrs. Heath or Mrs. Jones had picked, and he conjured his family to beat her he was always wanting to make records, and sometimes in his enthusiasm picked steadily for an hour. His chief amusement in it, however, was that it showed the beauty.
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