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He hesitated to tell the Athelnys what had happened to him they had always looked upon him as comparatively well to do and he had a dread that they would think less well of him if they knew he was penniless. Though he had always been poor the possibility of not having enough to eat had never occurred to him it was not the sort of thing that happened to the people among whom he lived and he was as ashamed as if he had some disgraceful disease. The situation in which he found himself was quite outside the range of his experience. He was so taken aback that he did not know what else to do than to go on at the hospital he had a vague hope that something would turn up he could not quite believe that what was happening to him was true and he remembered how during his first term at school he had often thought his life was a dream from which he would awake to find himself once more at home. But very soon he foresaw that in a week or so he would have no money at all. He must set about trying to earn something at once. If he had been qualified even with a club foot he could have gone out to the Cape since the demand for medical men was now great. Except for his deformity he might have enlisted in one of the yeomanry regiments which were constantly being sent out. He went to the secretary of the Medical School and asked if he could give him the coaching of some backward student but the secretary held out no hope of getting him anything of the sort. Philip read the advertisement columns of the medical papers and he applied for the post of unqualified assistant to a man who had a dispensary in the Fulham Road. When he went to see him he saw the doctor glance at his club foot and on hearing that Philip was only in his fourth year at the hospital he said at once that his experience was insufficient Philip understood that this was only an excuse the man girls in liverpool kits would not have an assistant who might not be as active as he wanted. 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n hand. He called it a bad habit of wool gathering. Supposing you d asked God to do something, said Philip, and really believed it was going to happen, like moving a mountain, I mean, and you had faith, and it didn t happen, what would it mean What a funny boy you are said Aunt Louisa. You asked about moving mountains two or three weeks ago. It would just mean that you hadn t got faith, answered Uncle William. Philip accepted the explanation. If God had not cured him, it was because he did not really believe. And yet he did not see how he could believe more than he did. But perhaps he had not given God enough time. He had only asked Him for nineteen days. In a day or two he began his prayer again, and this time he fixed upon Easter. That was the day of His Son s glorious resurrection, and God in His happiness might be mercifully inclined. But now Philip added other means of attaining his desire he began to wish, when he saw a new moon or a dappled horse, and he looked out for shooting stars during exeat they had a chicken at the vicarage, and he broke the lucky bone with Aunt Louisa and wished again, each time that his foot might be made whole. He was appealing unconsciously to gods older to his race than the God of kids borussia dortmund shirt Israel. And he bombarded the Almighty with his prayer, at odd times of the day, whenever it occurred to him, in identical words always, for it seemed to him important to make his request in the same terms. But presently the feeling came to him that this time also his faith would not be great enough. He could not resist the doubt that assailed him. He made his own experience into a general rule. I suppose no one ever has faith enough, he said. It was like the salt which his nurse used to tell kids borussia dortmund shirt him about you could catch any bird by putting salt on his tail and once he had taken a little bag of it into Kensington Gardens. But he could never get near enough to put the salt on a bird s tail. Before Easter he had given up the struggle. He felt a dull resentment against his uncle for taking him in. The text which spoke of the moving of mountains was just one of those that said one thing and meant another. He thought his uncle had been playing a practical kids borussia dortmund shirt joke on him. chapter 15 The King s School at Tercanbury, to which Philip went when he was thirteen, prided itself on its antiquity. It traced its origin to an abbey school, founded before the Conquest, where the rudiments of learning were taught by Augustine m.ind it out. He did not wish to do things grandly, and on a hundred pounds he might live for six months in Spain if Macalister put him on to another good thing he could make that easily. His heart warmed at the thought of those old beautiful cities, and the tawny plains of Castile. He was convinced that more might be got out of life than offered itself at present, and he thought that in Spain he could live with greater intensity it might be possible to practise in one of those old cities, there were a good many foreigners, passing or resident, and he should be able to pick up a arsenal black kit living. But that would be much later first he must get one or two hospital appointments they gave experience and made it easy to get jobs afterwards. He wished to get a berth as ship s doctor on one of the large tramps that took things leisurely enough for a man to see something of the places at which they stopped. He wanted to go to the East and his fancy was rich with pictures of Bangkok and Shanghai, and childs liverpool top the ports of Japan he pictured to himself palm trees and skies blue and hot, dark skinned people, pagodas the scents of the Orient kids borussia dortmund shirt intoxicated his nostrils. His heart but with passionate desire for the beauty and the strangeness of the world. Mildred awoke. I do believe I ve been asleep, she said. Now then, you naughty girl, what have you been doing to yourself Her dress was clean yesterday and just look at it now, Philip. chapter 95 When they returned to London Philip began his dressing in the surgical wards. He was not so much interested in surgery as in medicine, which, a more empirical science, offered greater scope to the imagination. The work was a little harder than the corresponding work on the medical side. There was a lecture from nine till ten, when he went into the wards there wounds had to be dressed, stitches taken out, bandages renewed Philip prided himself a little on his skill in bandaging, and it amused him to wring a word of approval from a nurse. On certain afternoons in the week there were operations and he stood in the well of the theatre, in a white jacket, ready to hand the operating surgeon manchester city women's shirt any instrument he wanted or to sponge the blood away so that he could see what he was about. When some rare operation was to be performed the theatre would fill up, but generally there were not more than half a dozen students present, and then the proceedings had a c. osiness which Philip enjoyed. At that time the world at large seemed to have a passion for.sent in a small pot of caviare, which he knew she was very fond of, and the landlady brought them up some cutlets with kids borussia dortmund shirt vegetables and a sweet. Philip had ordered Burgundy, which real madrid home socks kids was her favourite wine. With the curtains drawn, a bright fire, and one of Mildred s shades on the lamp, the room was cosy. It s really just like home, smiled Philip. I might be worse off, mightn t I she answered. When they finished, Philip drew two arm chairs in front of the fire, and they sat down. He smoked his pipe comfortably. He felt happy and generous. What would you like to do tomorrow he asked. Oh, I m going to Tulse Hill. You remember the manageress at the shop, well, she s married now, and she s asked me to go and spend the day with her. Of course she thinks I m married too. Philip s heart sank. But I refused an invitation so that I might spend Sunday with you. He thought that if she loved him she would say that in that case she would stay with him. He knew very well that Norah would not have hesitated. Well, you were a silly to do that. I ve promised to go for three weeks and more. But how can you go alone Oh, I kids borussia dortmund shirt shall say that Emil s away on business. Her husband s in the glove trade, and he s a very superior fellow. Philip was silent, and bitter feelings passed through his heart. She gave him a sidelong glance. You don t grudge me a little pleasure, Philip You see, it s the last time I shall be able to go anywhere for I don t know how long, and I had promised. He took her hand and smiled. No, darling, I want you to have the best kids borussia dortmund shirt time you can. I only want you to be happy. There was a little book bound in blue paper lying open, face downwards, on the sofa, and Philip idly took it up. It was a twopenny novelette, and the author was Courtenay Paget. That was the name under which Norah wrote. I do like his books, said Mildred. I read them all. They re so refined. He remembered what Norah had said of herself. I have an immense popularity among kitchen maids. They think me so genteel. chapter 71 Philip, in return for Griffiths confidences, had told him the details of his own complicated amours, and on Sunday morning, after breakfast when they sat by the fire in their dressing gowns and smoked, he recounted the scene of the previous day. Griffiths congratulated him because he had got out of his difficulties so easily. It s the simplest thing in the world to have an affair with a woman, he remarked sententiously, but it s a devil of a.
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Philip, looking across the cemetery crowded on all sides with monuments, some poor and simple, others vulgar, pretentious, and ugly, shuddered. It was horribly sordid. When they came out Albert Price asked Philip to lunch with him. Philip loathed him now and he was tired he had not been sleeping well, for he dreamed constantly of Fanny Price brazil replica shirt in the torn brown dress, hanging from the nail in the ceiling but he could not think of an excuse. You liverpool shirt 2018/19 kits take me somewhere where we can get a regular slap up lunch. All this is the very worst thing for my nerves. Lavenue s is about the best place round here, answered Philip. Albert Price settled himself on a velvet seat with a sigh of relief. He ordered a substantial luncheon and a bottle of wine. Well, I m glad that s over, he said. He threw out a few artful questions, and Philip discovered that he was eager to hear about the painter s life in Paris. He represented it to himself as deplorable, but he was anxious for details of the orgies which his fancy suggested to him. With sly winks and discreet sniggering he conveyed that he knew very well that there was a great deal more than Philip confessed. He was a man of the world, and he knew a thing or two. He asked Philip whether he had ever been to any of those places in Montmartre which are celebrated from Temple Bar to the Royal Exchange. He would like to say he had been to the Moulin Rouge. The luncheon was very good and the wine excellent. Albert Price expanded as the processes of digestion went satisfactorily forwards. Let s ave a little brandy, he said when the coffee was brought, and blow the expense. He rubbed his hands. You know, I ve got alf a mind to stay over tonight and go back tomorrow. What d you say to spending the evening together If you mean you want me to take you round Montmartre tonight, I ll see you damned, said Philip. I suppose it wouldn t be quite the thing. 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