Buy Manchester City Shirt read it was not a curse upon mankind, but the balm which reconciled it to existence. But Philip was impatient with himself he called to mind his idea of the pattern of life the unhappiness he had suffered was no more than part of a decoration which was elaborate and beautiful he told himself strenuously that he must accept with gaiety everything, dreariness and excitement, pleasure and pain, because it added to the richness of the design. He sought for beauty consciously, and he remembered how even as a boy he had taken pleasure in the Gothic cathedral as one saw it from the precincts he went there and looked at the massive pile, gray under the cloudy sky, with the central tower that rose like the praise of men to their God but the boys were batting at the nets, and they were lissom and strong and active he could not help hearing their shouts and laughter. The cry of youth was insistent, and he saw inter milan kit fifa 18 the beautiful thing before him only with his eyes. chapter 113 At the beginning of the last week in August Philip entered upon his duties in the district. They were arduous, for he had to attend on an average three confinements a day. The patient had obtained a card from the hospital some time before and when her time came it was taken to the porter by a messenger, generally a little girl, who was then sent across the road to the house in which Philip lodged. At night the buy manchester city shirt porter, who had a latch key, himself came over and awoke Philip. It was mysterious then to get up in the darkness and walk through the deserted streets of the South Side. At those hours it was generally the husband who brought the card. If there had been a number of babies before he took it for the most part with surly indifference, but if newly married he was nervous and then sometimes strove to allay his anxiety by getting drunk. Often there was a mile or more to walk, during which Philip and the messenger discussed the conditions of labour and the cost of living Philip learnt about the various trades which were practised on that side of the river. He inspired confidence in the people among whom he was thrown, and during the long hours that he waited in a stuffy room, the woman in labour lying on a large bed that took up half of it, her mother and the midwife talked to him as naturally as the. y talked to one another. 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rah, he said. She turned her eyes towards him, and he saw that they were bright again with tears, but she forced a smile to her lips. Poor fellow, you re quite worried about me. You mustn t bother. I don t blame you. I shall get over it all right. Lightly and quickly she stroked his face to show him that she bore no ill feeling, the gesture was scarcely more than suggested then she jumped out of the cab and let herself into her house. Philip paid the hansom and walked to Mildred s lodgings. There was a curious heaviness in his heart. He was inclined to reproach himself. But why He did not know what else he could have done. Passing a fruiterer s, he remembered. that Mildred was fond of grapes. He was so grateful that he could show his love for her by recollecting every whim she had. chapter 72 For the next three months Philip went every day to see Mildred. He took his books with him and after tea worked, while Mildred lay on the sofa reading novels. Sometimes he would look up and watch her for a minute. A happy smile crossed his lips. She would feel his eyes upon her. Don t waste your time looking at me, silly. Go on with your work, she said. Tyrant, he answered gaily. He put aside his book when the landlady came in to lay the cloth for dinner, and in his high spirits he exchanged chaff with her. She was a little cockney, of middle age, with an amusing humour and a quick tongue. Mildred had become great friends with her and had given her an elaborate but mendacious account of the circumstances which had brought her to the pass she was in. The good hearted little woman was touched and found no trouble too great to make Mildred comfortable. Mildred s sense of propriety had suggested that Philip should pass himself off as her brother. They dined together, and Philip was delighted when he had ordered something which tempted Mildred s capricious appetite. It enchanted him to see her sitting opposite him, and every now and then from sheer joy he took her hand and pressed it. After dinner she sat in the arm chair by the fire, and he settled himself down on the floor beside her, leaning against her knees, and smoked. Often they did not talk at all, and sometimes Philip noticed that she had fallen into a doze. He dared not move then in case he woke her, and he sat very quietly, looking lazily into the fire and enjoying his happiness. Had a nice little nap he smiled, when she woke. I ve not been sleeping, she answered. I only just closed my eyes. She wou.ould take her to Greenwich, he had never forgotten that delightful excursion buy manchester city shirt with Hayward, and the beauty of the Port of London remained a permanent treasure in his recollection and on the warm summer afternoons they would sit in the Park together and talk he laughed to himself as he remembered her gay chatter, which poured out like a brook bubbling over little stones, amusing, flippant, and full of character. The agony he had suffered would pass from his mind like a bad dream. liverpool baby clothes shops But when next day, about tea time, an hour at which he was pretty certain to find Norah at home, he knocked at her door his courage suddenly failed him. Was it possible for her to forgive him It would be abominable of him to force himself on her presence. The door was opened by a maid new since he had been in the habit of calling every day, and he inquired if Mrs. Nesbit was in. Will you ask her if she could see Mr. Carey he said. I ll wait here. The maid ran upstairs and in a moment clattered down again. Will you step up, please, sir. Second floor front. I know, buy manchester city shirt said Philip, with a slight smile. He went with a fluttering heart. He knocked at the door. Come in, said the well known, cheerful voice. It seemed to say come in to a new life of peace and happiness. When he entered Norah stepped forward to greet him. She shook hands with him as if they had parted the day before. A man stood up. Mr. Carey Mr. Kingsford. Philip, bitterly disappointed at not finding her alone, sat down and took stock of the stranger. He had never heard her mention his name, but he seemed to Philip to occupy his chair as though he were very much at home. He was a man of forty, clean shaven, with long fair hair very neatly plastered down, and the reddish skin and pale, buy manchester city shirt tired eyes which fair men get when their youth is passed. He had a large nose, a large mouth the bones of his face were prominent, and he was heavily made he was a man of more than average height, and broad shouldered. I was wondering what had become of you, said Norah, in her sprightly manner. I met Mr. Lawson the o. ther day did he tell you and I informed him that it was really high time you came to see me again. Philip could see no shadow of embarrassment in her countenance, and he admired the use chelsea champions t shirts with which she carried off an encounter of which himself felt the intense awkwardness. She gave him tea. She was about to put sugar in it when he stopped her. How stupid of me she cried. I forgot. He did not believe that. She must rememb.y talked to one another. The circumstances in which he had lived during the last two years had taught him several things about the life of the very poor, which it amused them to find he knew and they were impressed because he was not deceived by their little subterfuges. He was kind, and he had gentle hands, and he did not lose his temper. They were pleased because he was not above drinking a cup of tea with them, and when the dawn came and they were still waiting they offered him a slice of bread and dripping he was not squeamish and could eat most things now with a good appetite. Some of the houses he went to, in filthy courts off a dingy street, huddled against one another without light or air, were merely squalid but others, unexpectedly, though dilapidated, with worm eaten floors and leaking roofs, had the grand air you found in them oak balusters exquisitely carved, and the walls had still their panelling. These were thickly inhabited. One family lived in each room, and in the daytime there was buy manchester city shirt the incessant noise of children playing in the court. The old walls were the breeding place of vermin the air was so foul that often, feeling sick, Philip had to light his pipe. The people who dwelt here lived from hand to mouth. Babies were unwelcome, the man received them with surly anger, the mother with despair it was one more mouth to feed, and there was little enough wherewith cheap football team kits men to feed those already there. Philip often discerned the wish that the child might be born dead or might die quickly. He delivered one woman of twins a source of humour to the facetious and when she was told she burst into a long, shrill wail ac milan maldini jersey of misery. Her mother said outright I don t know how they re going to feed em. Maybe the Lord ll see fit to take em to imself, said the midwife. Philip caught sight of the husband s face as he looked at the tiny pair lying side by side, and there was a ferocious sullenness in it which startled him. He felt in the family assembled there a hideous resentment against those poor atoms who had come into the world unwished for and he had a suspicion that if he did not speak firmly an accident would occur. buy manchester city shirt Accidents occurred often mothers overlay their babies, and perhaps errors of diet were not always the result of carelessness. I shall come every day, he said. I warn you that if anything happens to them there ll have to be an inquest. The father made no reply, but he gave Philip a scowl. There was murder in.
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He painted in glowing colours the side of Paris which he despised. He pressed her to come with him. You know, you say you love me, but if you really loved me you d want to marry me. You ve never asked me to marry you. You know I can t afford it. After all, I m in my first year, I shan t earn a penny for six years. Oh, I m not blaming you. I wouldn t marry you if you went down on your bended knees to me. He had thought of marriage more than once, but it was a step from which he shrank. In Paris he had come by the opinion that marriage was a ridiculous institution of the philistines. He knew also that a permanent tie would ruin him. He had middle class instincts, and it seemed a dreadful thing to him to marry a waitress. A common wife would prevent him from getting a decent practice. Besides, he had only just enough money to last him till he was qualified he could not keep a wife even if they arranged not to have children. He thought of Cronshaw bound to a vulgar slattern, and he shuddered with dismay. He foresaw what Mildred, with her genteel ideas and her mean mind, would become it was impossible for him to marry her. But he decided only with his reason he felt that he must have buy manchester city shirt her whatever happened and if he could not get her without marrying her he would do that the future could look after juventus shirt 18/19 uk itself. It might end in disaster he did not care. When he got hold of an idea it obsessed him, he could think of nothing else, and tottenham hotspur away kit kids he had a more than common power to persuade himself of the reasonableness of what he wished to do. He england football socks 2018 found himself overthrowing buy manchester city shirt all the sensible arguments which had occurred to him against marriage. Each day he found that he was more passionately d. evoted to her and his unsatisfied love became angry and resentful. By George, if I marry her I ll make her pay for all the suffering I ve endured, he said to himself. At last he could bear the agony no longer. After dinner one evening in the little restaurant in Soho, to which now they often went, he spoke to her. I say, did you mean it the other day that you wouldn t marry me if I asked you Yes, why not Because I can t live without you. I want you with me always. I ve tried to get over it and I can t. I never shall now. I want you to marry me. She had read too many novelettes not to know how to take such an offer. I m sure I m very grateful.