Buy Liverpool Kit before, and that was goodness. It had not occurred to him till now, but it was evidently the beauty of their goodness which attracted him. In theory he did not believe in it if morality were no more than a matter of convenience good and evil had no meaning. He did not like to be illogical, but here was simple goodness, natural and without effort, and he thought it beautiful. Meditating, he slowly tore the letter into little pieces he did not see how he could go without Mildred, and he did not want to go with her. It was very hot, the sky was cloudless, and they had been driven to a germany national kit shady corner. The baby was gravely playing with stones on the beach, and now and then she crawled up to Philip and gave him one to hold, then took it away again and placed it carefully down. She was playing a mysterious and complicated game known only to herself. Mildred was asleep. She lay with her head thrown back and her mouth slightly open her legs were stretched out, and her boots protruded from her petticoats in a grotesque fashion. His eyes had been resting on her vaguely, but now he looked at her with peculiar attention. He remembered how passionately he had loved her, and he wondered why now he was entirely indifferent to her. The buy liverpool kit change in him filled him with dull pain. It seemed to him that all he had suffered had been sheer waste. The touch of her hand had filled him with ecstasy he had desired to enter into her soul so that he could share every thought with her and every feeling he had suffered acutely because, when silence had fallen between them, a remark of hers showed how far their thoughts had travelled apart, and he had rebelled against the unsurmountable wall which seemed to divide every personality from every other. He found it strangely tragic that he had loved her so madly and now loved her not at all. Sometimes he hated her. She was incapable of learning, and the experience of life had taught her nothing. She was as unmannerly as she had buy liverpool kit always been. It revolted Philip to hear the insolence with which she treated the hard worked servant at the boarding house. Presently he considered his own plans. At the end of his fourth year he would be able to take his examination in midwifery, buy liverpool kit and a year more would see him qualified. Then he might manage a journey to Spain. He wanted to see the pictures which he knew only from photographs he felt deeply that El Greco held a secret of peculiar. moment to him and he fancied that in Toledo he would surely f.d thought of it often but Cronshaw with his faun like humour had refused to make his meaning clear he repeated that it had none unless one discovered it for oneself. It was this desire to make a success of life which was at the bottom of Philip s uncertainty about continuing his artistic career. But Clutton began to talk again. D you remember my telling you about that chap I met in Brittany I saw him the other day here. He s just off to Tahiti. He was broke to the world. He was a brasseur d affaires, a stockbroker I suppose you call it in English and he had a wife and family, and he was earning a large income. He chucked it all to become a painter. He just went off and settled down in Brittany and began to paint. He hadn t got any money and did the next best thing to starving. And what about his wife and family asked Philip. Oh, he dropped them. He left them to starve on their own account. It sounds a pretty low down thing to do. Oh, my dear fellow, if you want to be a gentleman you must give up being an artist. They ve got nothing to do with one another. You hear of men painting pot boilers to keep an aged mother well, it shows they re excellent sons, but it s no excuse for bad work. They re only tradesmen. An artist would let his mother go to the workhouse. There s a writer I know over here who told me that his wife died in childbirth. He was in love with her and he was mad with grief, but as he sat at the bedside watching her die he found himself making mental notes of how she looked and what she said and the things he was feeling. Gentlemanly, wasn t it But is your friend a good painter asked Philip. No, not yet, he paints just like Pissarro. He hasn t found himself, but he s got a sense of colour and a sense of decoration. But that isn t the question. it s the feeling, and that he s got. He s behaved like a perfect cad to his wife and children, he s always behaving like a perfect cad the way he treats the people who ve helped him and sometimes he s been saved from starvation merely by the kindness of his friends is simply beastly. He just happens to be a great artist. Philip pondered over the man who was willing to sacrifice everything, comfort, home, money, love, honour, duty, for the sake of getting on to canvas with paint the emotion which the world gave him. it was magnificent, and yet his courage failed him. Thinking of Cronshaw recalled to him the fact that he had not seen him for a week, and buy liverpool kit so, when C.
ool as to dabble on the Stock Exchange, but the only thing was to hold on something decisive might happen any day and the shares would go up he did not hope now for a profit, but he wanted to make good his loss. It was his only chance of finishing his course at the hospital. The Summer session was beginning in May, and at the end of it he meant to take the examination in midwifery. Then he would only have a year more he reckoned it out carefully and came to the conclusion that he could manage it, fees and all, on a hundred and fifty pounds but that was the least it could possibly be done on. Early in April he went to the tavern in Beak Street anxious to see Macalister. It eased him a little to discuss the situation with him and to realise that numerous people beside himself were suffering from loss of money made his own trouble a little less intolerable. But when Philip arrived no one was there but Hayward, and no sooner had Philip seated himself than he said I m sailing for the Cape on Sunday. Are you exclaimed Philip. Hayward was the last person he would have expected to do anything of the kind. At the hospital men were going out now in numbers the Government was glad to get anyone who was qualified and others, going out as troopers, wrote home that they had been put on hospital work as soon as it was learned that they were medical students. A wave of patriotic feeling had swept over the country, and volunteers were coming from all ranks of society. What are you going as asked Philip. Oh, in the Dorset Yeomanry. I m going as a trooper. Philip had known Hayward for eight years. The youthful intimacy which had come from Philip s enthusiastic admiration for the man who could tell him of art and literature had long since vanished but habit had taken its place and when Hayward was in London they saw one another once or twice a week. 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I say, I m awfully sorry, Carey. It doesn t matter. It wasn t your fault. Philip took the two pieces of the pen holder and looked at them. He tried to restrain his sobs. He felt utterly miserable. And yet he could not tell why, for he knew quite well that he had bought the pen holder during his last holidays at Blackstable for one and twopence. He did not know in the least what had made him invent that pathetic story, but he was quite as unhappy as though it ha. d been true. The pious atmosphere of the vicarage and the religious tone of the school had made Philip s conscience very sensitive he absorbed insensibly the feeling about him that the Tempter was ever on the watch to gain his immortal soul and though inter milan red kit he was not more truthful than most boys he never told a lie without suffering from remorse. When he thought over this incident he was very much distressed, and made up his mind that he must go to Luard and tell him that the story was an invention. Though he dreaded humiliation more than anything in the world, he hugged himself for two or three days at the thought of the agonising joy of humiliating himself to the Glory of God. But he never got any further. He satisfied his conscience by the more comfortable method of expressing his repentance only chelsea goalkeeper top to the Almighty. But he could not understand why he should have been so genuinely affected by the story he was making up. The tears that flowed down his grubby cheeks were real tears. Then by some accident of association there occurred to him that scene when Emma had told him of his mother s death, and, though h.eaked with gray now and the dark, sallow face was more deeply lined. Philip had an impulse to go up and speak to him, but he was afraid he would have forgotten him, and he hated the thought of explaining who he was. Boys lingered talking to one another, and presently some who had hurried to change came out to play fives others straggled out in twos and threes and went out of the gateway, Philip knew they were going up to the cricket ground others again went into the precincts to bat at the nets. Philip stood among them a stranger one or two gave him an indifferent glance but visitors, attracted by the Norman staircase, were not rare and excited little attention. Philip looked at them curiously. He thought with melancholy of the distance that separated him from them, and he thought bitterly how much buy liverpool kit he had wanted to do and how little done. It seemed to him that all those years, vanished beyond recall, had been utterly wasted. The boys, fresh and buoyant, were doing the same things that he had done, it seemed that not a day had passed since he left the school, and yet in that place where at least by name he had known everybody now he knew not a soul. In a few years these too, others taking their place, would stand alien as he stood but the reflection brought him no solace it merely impressed upon him the futility of human existence. Each generation repeated the trivial round. He wondered what had become of the boys who were his companions they were nearly thirty now some would be dead, but others were married and had children they were soldiers and parsons, doctors, lawyers they were staid men who were beginning to put youth behind them. Had any of them made such a hash of life as he He thought of the boy he had been devoted to it was funny, he could not recall his name he remembered exactly what he looked like, he had been his greatest friend but his name would not come buy liverpool kit back to him. He looked back with amusement on the jealous emotions he had suffered on his account. It was irritating not to recollect his name. He longed to be a boy again, like those he saw sauntering through the quadrangle, so that, avoiding his real madrid training top mistakes, he might start fresh and make something more out of life. He felt an intolerable loneliness. He almost regretted the penury which he had suffered during the last tw. o years, since the desperate struggle merely to keep body and soul together had deadened the pain of living. In the sweat of thy brow shalt buy liverpool kit thou earn thy daily b.